The genuine love for dancing is innate. Not all people claim to have equal fondness for dancing. Some love it like crazy while others exclude it from their favorite pastime. I happen to be one of those who have a congenital and tremendous interest in dancing. I just don’t relish it…….but I also feel like it’s really intricately imprinted and coded in my DNA.
As early as 2 years old, Dad and Mom noticed how I waved my tiny and fragile hands over my head and how I shook my baby butt to the tune of “Hands Up, Baby Hands up” (my very first favorite music I guess). They told me how that music sculpted a curve on my lips and how it made their day when I began singing while dancing “Hant up, Baby Hant up”. When the music stopped, my smile faded and replaced with an ugly pout. My Mom had to ask our neighbor to replay the same music in full volume to see me dancing again with an ineffable glow across my naive eyes. I danced all day with that music repeated several times without any hint of boredom. One moment, our neighbor no longer played that music leaving me in my worst baby tantrums. I kept on crying with a constant demand “I want Hant Up…..i want Hant Up”. My Dad decided to buy a cassette tape of that just for me. He played it over and over again and he saw me incessantly dancing in a very good mood and joyfully singing “Hant Up Baby Hant up…..Hant up……Hant up”. It left them all laughing and delighted.
The intensity of my innate passion in dancing escalated as I aged. In grade school, each time I heard music, my feet tingled with desire. The upbeat rhythm was such a sound difficult to ignore. As each note of it hit my eardrum, I could barely keep myself still. I could hardly pin my arms to my sides and keep my hips and butt motionless. My fingers would really find its own freedom to drum in synchrony with the music. My feet couldn’t help to keep on tapping on the floor and my shoulders swaying with my head. And when the music grew louder and the beat soared faster and stronger, I couldn’t stop my body from grooving like everything in me was possessed by the power of musical beat. I danced with energy and pleasure….....
As early as 6 to 12 yrs old, I started to feel how music was incorporated in my flesh and spirit when I danced. I saw how the unity of my body and spirit added meaning to the music and how it brought me to the height of rapture when my muscles flexed as my hips gyrated and my feet grated on the floor. This internal satisfaction in dancing prodded me to join a dance group in school. Every time I rehearsed and presented a dance number on stage, I felt strangely beautiful. Be it a ball room dance, an ethnic, pop jazz, modern, folk, and cheer dance, I truly experienced glamour and boundless ecstasy. As young as I was, I danced like no one was watching and when I felt that my parents and some other spectators’ eyes were feasting on me, I danced even harder with a smile. When my mom rose and let out a scream, “That’s my daughter dancing!”, I danced with more glow and grace.
The euphoria of dancing was consuming enough to have made me so addicted to it. No wonder, it became a part of my student life both in high school and college. I danced more often in high school especially during school programs. In college, I danced less often onstage but I danced more often in disco pubs and bars with classmates and friends during Friday and Saturday nights. And believe me, I could wiggle my hips and tummy in the dance floor from dusk ‘till dawn. My board mates and my land lady could attest to that. I would never stop dancing in the disco until the bar closed at the wee hours in the morning. Now I’m giggling at the thought of seeing my land lady as I replay those moments when she asked me at 5:30 a.m. where I’d been, and I strutted toward her and told her id been partying and dancing the whole night. And she burst into guffaw……I wondered what made it funny…….is it ridiculous if I dance all night?
The fervor and passion in dancing was so penetrating that it could enhance my prancing, my leaping, my kicking, my gliding, my swaying, my twisting and my shaking even in my dreams. Believe me or not, I sleep dance too. Lol! There was one evening when I was too knackered from a disco party in college. I dozed off too early and got thrown to a deep slumber around very noisy chattering roommates. In the middle of their interesting conversation, I suddenly jumped out of my bed and flicked the cassette on and I danced like a wild beast with my eyes closed. A grave-deep silence overtook the noise in our room and everyone’s attention was drawn on me. At first they thought I was awake but when I started singing while dancing with my eyes shut, they all chortled. Their laughter resonated and it reduced to giggle when I unconsciously went back to bed as if I got tired of dancing. Their belly laugh extended until the following day and when they told me how my “sleep dance” left them immobile in disbelief, I blushed like I never did before………..and I just chuckled.
When I finished college, entered the world of teaching and later got married, still the power of dancing kept igniting my spirit to full flame. My heart never stopped racing in dancing. Just like before, I often craved for being always in motion and for achieving a state of trance through my dance moves. My students and my co-instructors already witnessed how I got so attached to dancing. My husband who’s got not much heart for dancing could never say no when I asked him to dance with me. The contagious rhythmical oscillations of my dancing spirit was seemingly inviting that my husband could hardly resist. I danced like my body played the music. My muscles became strings, my bones became drumsticks and my lungs became resonators. My body became an orchestra with my soul as the composer, the conductor and the choreographer. There was then mingling of my body, my deepest emotion, my spirit with the music as I graced the dance floor with amazing splendor. When I danced with all my heart and mind, the real art of dancing slowly came out…….too infectious to send pricking sensation to the feet of those who were around me and soon making them all dance too without reluctance.
It’s how dancing has profoundly defined my life……..I danced when I won a contest or a game. I danced when I got a perfect score in my exams. I danced when I received a good news. I danced when I finished something on time. I danced when I carried out something successfully. I danced when I cooked right. I danced when I received a kiss and a hug from my loved ones. I danced when my students understood and learned from me. I danced when I could help someone. I danced when somebody promised to treat me for a lunch or dinner. I danced when my husband asked me to go out for a date. I danced when I could save money. I danced when travelling brought me to new and picturesque places. I danced when I tasted a yummy food. I danced when I saw people smiling. I danced when I saw others getting so happy. I danced when I fitted a new blouse and a new jeans I loved the most. I danced when I gained a new knowledge. I danced when I found a chance to read wonderful books. I danced when I could scribble down my thoughts. I danced when I receive accolades. I danced when someone handed to me a bunch of chocolates. I danced when I reached a mountain summit. I danced when I fulfilled my long time dreams……………..I danced when I danced……………
To dance is to be happy and free. When I danced I purged out pain……I rid myself of stress and tension…….I forgot all the sadness and other negative emotions. All I experienced in dancing had been always pure and total elation. No tears in dancing just smiles. No worries just hopes. No failures just triumphs. No storms just sunshine. All positive feelings in dancing…………..
Let me dance even without music for I can make my own body a music when I dance.
I danced yesterday. I am dancing today. Tomorrow, I will never stop dancing. No one can stop me dancing. Just let me dance ‘til I grow old. In dancing, there is joy……there is life.
Dancing is life………..and my life is a dance………………….
